Sometimes people just don’t understand . . .

the true meaning of findagrave or how to use it. Then when you explain – they get pissed off at you.

I don’t remember the first time I found the site, but I did and since then have worked on it for over 5 years, adding family and non-family (whole cemeteries), some with and some without photos. But basically to me, it was to add to the database of a grave registration site not to build a family tree.

Yes, if I have my family there, I have link the parents and children together. I add any information I have about the family, pictures, etc. If it doesn’t have a headstone photo, I request one hoping that some kind photo volunteer will take a photo of it. When a picture does arrive I thank the person and then I link the memorial to the person in my family website – I do not take the photo and copy it – it doesn’t belong to me.

If there is family on there that someone else has added, I will send any information that I have that can be added, put the person in a Virtual Cemetery. An example would be the Beach Family. My GG-Grandmother was a Beach, and while, yes I have a lot of the family I don’t have all of them. So, I have them together in their own little cemetery. From this, I link the family together on my website.

What people don’t realize is that you don’t need to own or control the memorial. The rule is within 4 generations.

Then there are the people that come along and get all excited about findagrave and want to have “ownership” of the memorial. This happened to me about a month ago. I had been slowly adding names and photos to a local cemetery, OceanView . I got two emails one morning telling me how happy she was to have found her grandparents and she had updated the memorials. Hmm, how could she have updated the memorials I had entered?? I look and she had created 2 new memorials, basically duplicating most of my work. I checked both memorials, added anything new she had put on hers and transferred the originals to her and left a message that duplicates were not permitted on findagrave and she should delete hers.

Well, she didn’t — she didn’t want my name or photos on the memorials. She went so far as to change the names, delete all the information, move the memorials to burial unknown (even though she could not delete the photos I had taken) and left her duplictes. I had to go to an admin to merge the memorials together. They took the information from mine and her information and merged the two memorials together with all information, I as the creator and she has the Manager (which means I cannot make any changes to it). This is how it should be. Oh and she has not come back to the site since they were merged.

Then last weekend, someone fulfilled a photo request in Regina for the husband of my 3rd Great Aunt. Great!!! He also left a note that he had information on other family members in the cemetery. Wonderful!! But what does he do?? He wants a record of where he has posted photos, so he duplicates my memorial — including that line “This is the husband of my 3rd Great Aunt” AND he took pictures off of her Memorial as well as one of her son that died her in BC. I had taken the photo in BC and another member had taken the photo in Manitoba.

I emailed him and said that you cannot duplicate memorials or take pictures from other memorials. I explained how the copyright of photos worked. I explained that if he wanted to keep track of his photos, then put the memorials into a virtual cemetery. Well, he had a hissy fit – he wasn’t going to help people anymore; that he wasn’t going to give me the information about the Thompson family in the Regina Cemetery, etc. etc. I checked to see if he had removed his photo (he hadn’t) but since his complaints to me, it seems he has had more trouble with duplicating people.

How hard is it people to read the FAQs of a site and learn what the site is about; what you can or cannot do and just get along with others.

So for anyone thinking of getting into findagrave, read the FAQs first, join the forums, search and double search that the person you are about to enter hasn’t been entered BUT most of all realize that is is a grave registration site not a family tree builder site. Great resource for your family tree but again, not a family tree builder.

One thought on “Sometimes people just don’t understand . . .

  1. It’s a shame that people take all your hard work and use it without your permission.
    You have a great blog, Susan. I wish I was as organized as you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.